Still sceptical...

I asked myself today - am I still skeptical  It's been ages since I managed to share any of my opinions or observations and I'm beginning to to miss it. It's not that I like to complain or anything... I just feel it's a part o my personality is going to silent rest and I'm not really willing to cope with that.

I found myself at the edge of a possible life turn recently. And it's not the first one to be exact. I started to work with a life and career coach. I always had a smile for their methods... I thought that if I worked really hard myself I wouldn't need their help. The thing is - would I work that hard?

But then again - when we work - all they say is -think what would You do in a situation like that? How would You react to... what is Your dream work place like? and all those seem so innocent and so similar to each one. There are times, when I feel like a child led by a hand across the one way street. I feel helpless and slightly ashamed. At the same time I think, that everything they tell me is already in my head, so Why would I need them?

There are still couple of days left to work on it, so maybe in a while I'll be able to tell You (or me) who am I, and who's kidding here...

I am, however, wondering... why is every single session so exhausting?

On V-day, ten days later

And so the show's over.
Flowers bought are now dry and broken if not thrown out, but there's something remaining - the memory of the day.
I used to hate the day, coz I was alone, and I envied. Then I stopped being alone but I did not stop the feeling for the day.
What is the point showing "the big love" on this one day and fill somebody's pockets while buying chockolates and roses. Why can'r you do it any other day. What kind of love is it that shows only for this one day and then it is called romantic. Nay - that's pathetic. In so many ways and in so many cases love comes last on this day, because male get the feeling of urge to buy flowers (so "your lady won't be sad, and won't be the only one without the flower on that day) - just like the necessity for eating a donut on a Fat Thursday.
And Women - well not trying to be sexist but they usually don't feel urged to do anything but to be adored.
Again there's another Big Day for that.


And what happens if Your love doesn't get the flower in the very morning, the day is ruined? Nothing happened? What if there's no dinner waiting in the fancy restaurant?

Why can't You do it on any other day of the year - with no cause, no reason and no hidden intentions, and then call it romantic...


Oh well

OA

being "used to"

... or maybe I should say: "Out of the blue"...

The day was fine and quite sunny, the work went nicely and everything looked brighter as the freshly finished phone call brought some more happy news, and then...
the computer stopped.

...and it did not start any more...

tragedy - isn't it? But the best part had just begun... when I swore all the world with all the invention I could refer to, and started to...

slowly memorize all the data I'd just lost that was desperately needing in the next few days. The practice shows that making back ups daily pays.

Crap

Having a breakdown and hating it

One of the best experiences in life is surely having and raising a son. And so I am blessed with a 9 month old toddler who's capable of attracting my full attention all day through no matter how busy with work I am. And that - unfortunately - is not a cheerful notice.

But I endure holding on to the thought of my wife coming back home and taking care of our son. And then the breakdown comes as she starts preparing dinner, vacuuming, dishwashing, hand-washing, changing-the-diapers and boiling the bottles... and asking with what seemed like "every-fifteen-minutes" frequency: "Can You take him for a little while".

So I did. I love my son. So i did, what I was asked for,but then i had no time for my work...

Later, at the late evening meal, My Beloved asked me, how come she does all the housework after she comes back from work, whereas I cannot do a single one when at home the whole morning.

I tried to think of an excuse, that I did not have any hands to give a baby to "for a little while", but whatever I tried did not work.

The only conclusion I came up with was to agree and admit that women are more multitask prepared than any man.

I shall wear midnight – Terry Pratchett

Whenever I'm asked about Terry Pratchett's books I answer – You've got to either love it or misunderstand it. In any case I suggest reading the Discworld novels in their chronological order. That's the best way to observe how Pratchett developed and actually mastered his craft into what it is now.



The problem with understanding Pratchett's books is that after the first one or two novels readers tend to think they've met with another humoresque on fantasy. To be honest it's hard to disagree... in the beginning. It takes a little more time and attention to notice all the comments and observations hidden in between the lines. With every book Pratchett's creation became more and more critical to the real society and institutions.

I shall wear Midnight is no different. It is a fourth part of what some call „children's Discworld” the part of the series that deals with a teenage Witch called Tiffany Aching. Everyone living on the Disc knows that Withces should be treated seriously considering possible consequences of not doing so. Witches of the Disc know that most of it lies in headology and the right circumstances. In that aspect Pratchett is the ultimate Witch creating the Circumstances. And that is a significant Capital „C” for they are a separate Dramatis personæ of his novels.
This time it's time for Tiffany to present us with a daily routines of a Witch. It's never too easy. As we know she is a Main Character and, as such, she's doomed to deal with a faith overcoming her capabilities. And so Miss Aching sees and does things that no ordinary sixteen-year-old should see or do. But then again... she has no other choice.
It doesn't take long to notice, that there's something in the air and this time it's not the broomstick.

Revealing a secret (but only a little part of it) – there is always some envy involved. Maybe it isn't too strong but it found some firm grounds to develop. And there' the fire too. The Fire is a threat not only to Tiffany, but to every Witch on Disc. As it was proved by Gentlemen from Monty Python Witches do burn easily.

This time it's the fire that dwells in all of us and waits to outburst when confronted with an original, a difference... a freak... Allit needs is a group of people unwilling to control it and a spark of a reason to turn into a disaster. Luckily for Witches, and for all of us there's always someone with a mind of his own in the crowd.

It may sound a little too serious to be Pratchett-like – but having a book in hand you will not mind that at all. The book brings handfuls of laugh topped with something to think of. So if You do mind being stared at... - don't read on a bus.

Why Would You do that?

I received an e-mail recently about somene commentung on my post. The thing is, that on this site there's not much of a marketingly valuable content and yet... there's this guy, who keeps commenting on viagras and similar...

well...

Viagra? Anyone?

OA

It's all About One Bar

What makes a Good Wednesday?

A Bar of chocolate. Good and expensive one will do just as well as the cheapest milky one. After the whole day of nerves and impatience, unrested stress and slowly working computers that's all I needed.

The sweet, smooth and thick liquid slowly filling the taste buds in my mouth took all the troubles away without leaving any traces.
And even though I fear that I could rename the blog to "Thoughts on Wednesday" i feel fine...

It's all in a one good chocolate bar.


Have some sweet dreams,

OA

Sometimes There Are Only Wednesdays

Do You know the feeling of not wanting to do anything for three days in a row... You do...
And do You know the feeling of waiting for Something Big really really impatiently, while Something Big takes a raincheck every now and then. It's just the same "Wednesdaylike" feeling. Nearly having it - nearly catching and yet the Big Thing eskapes and stays so far away - just like weekend on a Wednesday morning. And all You can do is ... wait.

And so I wait for a Big Thing - for a Change.

And that's funny too - when You wait for something like that it is really likely to miss the little changes outside - like the weather, the temperature, the people, callendar... nothing's really changed unless the Big One Change came...

Yup... that's funny.


OA

Wednesday - and it's far far away from weekend.

There's a quite new saying:

When You feel like not doing anything for three days in a row it must be Wednesday.

I had this feeling on Monday, and I had it Yesterday. And I would certainly have it today. The thing is I have some deadlines for tomorrow and for Friday.
Does anyone know the way to start wanting to do something. I believe this is called "Motivation". So?

Anyone?


OA

What is wrong with the Nature?

For some time now I've been feeling more and more Auld - I have never complained about the weather, but after that crappy May, and now with the floody and rainy August I really feel on the edge of my patience.

Maybe if it wasn't for those 40 degrees heats in between, that spoiled me... but then again with almost no air movement the temperature was a killer, so it's not that much to boast about.

Another thing is, as I mentioned, the city communication - "rain or sun, we go..." - with our windows open, and we stop for no one... oh look there's a pond - care for a shower?


I'll better shut up...


OA

August - in the middle of Nowhen

Sometimes I have the feelings like all the week days are the same and it is really hard to distinguish Monday from Friday.
Sometimes the only way to do so is to have as much luck to have partying neighbours. Like me - yesterday. I had them. So I know - when they party - it's most probably Friday.

And yesterday - yes... they were partying. And they were loud.

Working as a freelancer it's quite easy to loose track of time and it's even easier to skip weekends without celebrating it any way.

So for a little while I was happy - if they party, and it's loud - than I'm having Saturday tomorrow - I thought. And even though I couldn't fall asleep for a longer moment I was smiling to myself.

Then I woke up today and my Friend Callendar told me it was Thursday...

Why?


yup.. it's summertime - in August everybody loses track of time obviously...

But tomorrow's Friday for sure.

OA

knowing not

Sometimes I sit knowing not what to write. Then I take my pen and start to think about everything and nothing searching for a tiniest thought worth describing.

If I'm lucky - I describe it. If I'm not, well...

then I think again.

Do You have it too?


OA

A Tale of Two Cities - almost coming true...

It seems like the best of times and it seems like the worst of times...

...and yet it sounds like a badly written story. Nothing is clear but it feels so great to be a part of it.
I mean all the "family" dreams coming true - are clearly the "best of times". Whereas all the career plans still being still and unprogressive should stand on the other end of the balance.

And then there's the "two cities" part. Work, life, Friends - all split between the two places...

That's something to sleep over.



OA

Power of a Reminder

There's a new device at home. It is said that it was built to help people in not forgetting the important meetings and tasks. It beeps any time such a term is closing. The thing is that at some point the helper turned bad - because You still need to remember - to put the data first.
At first it was quite a nice gizmo. It was small and shiny, and it went "beep, beep" every now and then and it allowed for a variety of "doze" lengths. But after a while it started to beep more and more often, and in the end...

let's just say that most of the time I just "doze" the "beeps" for some other time...


OA

Where Did All The Mondays Go?

How come it's Thursday Again? I mean - it's ok for Mondays to disappear and possibly never come back, but they just come and go repeatedly and faster and faster.

Not that I need them for anything, but they take away my time...

Which reminds me, got to go...



OA

My Postman Became a Postwomen

and She also cames on Fridays. That's quite convenient.
I did however considered a little while to the words Postman and Postwoman as to the proffesions having no future. They already are "post" aren't they.

Oh Dear... I'll need to find a better topic to complaint in this 2010. I'm getting to Auld.


OA

My Postman Always Comes on Fridays

I just could not resist. But that is a sad true. Well.. ok... it's not that sad but still it is irritating. My post works in mysterious ways. Whenever I expect an important message or a package it is delivered on Fridays - at the time, when I'm out. And when I come back a little note with an info - been here, You have not, You can collect Your package at... blahblah...

That usually means two more days of anticipation - for the post office is closed for the weekend.

These are books, methinks. I just can't wait.

OA

H.M.S. Surprise – Patrick O'Brian

Now that's a surprise! Just when he needed it the most Captain Jack Aubrey received his command on the Royal Ship. His life was getting colors again. And the color that was the most attractive in this particular moment was as gold as money paid for the prizes. Captain Aubrey was far from the thought of retirement, but he had some land plans in mind. Having that golden color on his side was truly important for the plans to come true.
But that wasn't the only surprise...




After years of sailing under various sails Jack Aubrey returned on the deck of H.M.S. Surprise. This time he was to give orders not to take them. That was not a slightest problem – it never was. For an experienced sailor, such as Jack, adapting to new environments is just a matter of minutes. In short time H.M.S. Surprise became Aubrey's ship, and it's crew became Aubrey's men. He seemed to be not only a born seaman, but also a natural born captain.

And now for my personal surprise. Whenever I start to read any of O'Brian's novels I feel like stepping into a completely strange and exotic world. One could say that sailing across the seas cannot be fun with all the same sights every single morning and same people around. That's not what I think just after the second page of the book. There's some magic in a world of so called tall ships. They're less and less known and popular in the times of speed and lazy comfort. O'Brian refers to the early 19th century – the age when those beautiful vessels were the true Queens of the Seven Seas. O'Brian uses one more „magic” trick. Even though his characters are made up he writes the stories that are nearly true. His novels are built with a skilled eloquence of a person who knows his craft – they're well placed in timelines of any sea-conflict of that time and the seamen's language - despite it's originality – is still easily readible to us.

I'm not going to tell what's the story is about in „H.M.S. Surprise”. That could spoil the... well spoil the fun. One thing I can tell is that I keep discovering how many faces Stephen Maturin has. He's far more than just a surgeon. With every part of the Master and Commander series I find Maturin being skilled, interested or involved in something new, no less dangerous and no less exciting than before. And still he manages to convince everyone around about ineptitude of living in a real world.

„H.M.S. Surprise” is the third in the series of twenty novels on Captain Jack Aubrey and his friend Doctor Maturin. They met in the first part and became close friends since then. They share life's ups and downs both on land and on deck fighting with fate, but also fighting with themselves. It's really exceptional bound between the peace loving doctor and the roaring cannons enthusiast – the captain.

O'Brian begins his tales with something You could call insignificant episode of great importance, and then, as his sails catch the winds, he speeds up carrying his words towards the horizon and leaving the readers in waiting of another story.



OA

Those Days - a Matter of Winter that Springs

something really odd is going on with the weather. It is green when it supposed to be white, it is grey instead of blue. and now - in the beginning of February it is springing. 

blooming flowers, beaming lassies, and glowing lads. and  - as if it was not enough - st valentine's day in a week...

what IS going on...?

OA

On board! Ye scumbacks!

The Friendly Polish website, has pleasantly surprised me one more time. This time they've published a review of a sea warfare history. Adkins' "The War for All The Oceans" brings the details of the great time of Sea battles of the XVIII - XIX century. The names include Bonaparte, Nelson and Cochrane - withe the last one being an actual rolemodel for O'Brian's Captain Aubrey. 

The best thing in the book is the historical reliability. The facts the authors bring specify, that quite often there was nothing romantic in the sea adventures - only blood, sweat and tears.

I cannot wait till I get the book in my hands.

OA